fuck this place, srsly

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The last damn straw. Not to mention categorizing ANYTHING here is a fucking pain in the ass. I'm just tired of all the bullshit involved with this place. The interface gets more and more cluttered and complicated every fucking week. We've got Twitter and all sorts of other useless shit to clog up peoples' pages than ever before. I just can't stand how scene this whole place has gone. You can't get shit done here because you have to work through 10 minutes of crap just to upload or find something. That, with a community this large, you can't get anyone to help you, anyway.

I've got my own blog on the way, if I even decide to share my work online anymore, you can find it there. I'll post a link to it on whatever forums I attend.

Laters.

EDIT: And yes, DA forum-goers. I'm 25 and I formed a negative opinion about your community's website. That means I am a failure at life. Your brilliance astounds me. Way to be oh-so-fucking-mature and not sink to my level, you pretentious cuntcicles.

HAPPY IMAGINARY SUPERMAN EVE!! HOPE YOU GET LOTS OF USELESS BUT AWESOME STUFF!!

The fan art idea fell flat on it's face, but whatever. I need inspiration to draw. I can't just do it on a whim, unless it's a random doodle of a car on a discarded work order during a phone transaction with some jerk from AutoZone.

But my life has just been so dull. Listless. Nothing unfolds. Nothing happens. I wake up, and I go to class. I come home, and I get on my computer. I have three friends here whom I never see - one because his life is exact opposite of mine - and as for the other two, well, they're right here on DeviantArt and I don't even take the time to comment on their work or read their journals. Why? Because I'm a jerk. I don't want to be attached to people I have to say goodbye to.

Kyle, Kelly, and Jocelyn. People I've fallen in love with, people who are JUST LIKE ME in so many ways, people I need to know, need to be close to, need to hang around and have fun with and trade art pointers and talk shop about RPGs and JUST. FUCKING. TALK.

But I don't do any of that, and it's my fault. I'm moving in the spring or maybe sooner. Probably never to return for anything shy of a holiday. I won't have the money to come back and be an everyday friend. I can't drive 4 hours whenever I feel like it to hang out with these amazing people whom I've distanced myself from so quickly after meeting them.

It makes no sense, because I've already grown attached. When I leave, I'll think of them the same way I think of my friends back home. There's no winning here, but there's plenty of anguish.

Jocelyn gave me a tablet and helped me over a huge hump in my personal life. Kelly took me on a wonderful stroll around downtown Plattsburgh and brought me to the most wonderful bookstore that I never stepped foot in again.

I don't want to have good memories of a place that I hate so much. Plattsburgh is no place for me. For the most part, I hate the people. I hate the atmosphere. I hate the rural feel with dots of cityscape here and there that don't make sense.

I can't stand that everything charming in this place is on the other side of it, and by the time I'm ready to enjoy it, there are other matters to worry about.

In this house, I'm surrounded by other peoples' problems. My problems, all personal, are insignificant compared to the worldly problems of my peers.

I just want people to talk to, people to listen and maybe relate. But here, they all have their own agenda that needs attending. And that's cool. I understand.

My friends back home would and have done just about anything to help me. People I've never even met before on the internet have gone to ridiculous lengths to give me a leg up. There are three people here in Plattsburgh that I know would care about me the same way if I just spent more time with them.

But I don't. Because I'm a jerk.

My gallery is just sitting there. Sad. Empty. This will not do.

I'm going to try this... "fan art" thing. Now that I think of it, unless you count drawing characters from someone's fiction a "fan art", I've never actually drawn anything but my own original crap. Ever.

Huh.

So yeah. I'm starting with some fan-girlish love for cartoons from my childhood. If you're from my generation (early 80's) then you'll surely appreciate it. Unless I screw it up terribly. Oh god. The pressure.

I'm back home. Awesome? I guess. I hate it here.